One of the problems when it comes to client success is the failure to succeed in programs we know can generate successful outcomes.
It’s not our job to make a client successful, but rather to give them the tools and knowledge they can use to create success. But, it’s disheartening for some of us, when we don’t understand why a client suddenly stops making progress.
Is there anything we can do for these clients?
Previously, I mentioned the role our brain plays in assessing incoming sensory information that subsequently affects behavior and thinking when it comes to being successful.
Two primary areas act as protectors – the limbic system (fight or flight) and ventromedial prefrontal cortex (VMCP) for assessing risk, uncertainty, fear and making decisions. When new information is introduced, the brain quickly scans itself. It takes new information and compares it to memory experiences and core values and beliefs.
What Are Core Values?
“Core values are traits or qualities that you consider not just worthwhile, they represent an individual’s or organization’s highest priorities, deeply held beliefs, and core, fundamental driving forces.”
“Core values are also called guiding principles because they form a solid core of who you are, what you believe, and who you are and want to be going forward.” from Susan M. Heathfield –
Core values play a key role in client success by operating in the background as templates. When the idea of making a change is introduced, the brain checks its core values and beliefs to determine if the “change” is a potential threat to the status quo.
As you encounter a client that balks at moving forward on their success path, know that they’ve probably hit a challenge to a core value or belief.
To understand core values better here’s a link to an excellent resource list for you to use. Online marketer and author, James Clear, has already put together a list of 50 core values which you can access it here at http://jamesclear.com/core-values
The Core Value and Beliefs Challenge to Client Sucess
So, how do you increase client success by getting pass the challenge to a core value or belief? It’s not always easy since defenses are up even when all the logic and reasoning in the world should be enough to prevail.
However, there are 3 techniques that have had various degrees of success in overcoming a client’s resistance to success.
Technique # 1 Affirmation and Motivations
This is a technique that most of you are already familiar with. Positive affirmations and motivation are successful in overcoming negative beliefs. Because, the positive message, if believable, acts to reduce the fight or flight limbic system and uncertainty, anxiety, and fear in (VMPC).
The brain is also more attentive and receptive when meaning and visual interpretation are combined. This is why online you see so many messages that pair a visual image with positive affirmations and motivation.
However, understand if the brain interprets change as a real threat to a core value or belief the “gatekeeper” goes into effect. The gatekeeper is a subconscious (VMPC ) action that assesses risk, uncertainty, and danger.
Based on prior experiences and protecting core values and beliefs, the gatekeeper decides if a positive message for change is going to be accepted or rejected. For some, positive messaging just doesn’t get pass the gatekeeper.
Technique #2 Beyond “Why” and “What”
A common approach to helping a client be more successful is to uncover their “why” behind signing up and the “what” they expect to get out of it. It’s thought that psychologically the clearer a client is about their “why” and “what” the more inclined they are to follow through.
However, despite a powerful “why” and “what”, some clients hit a point of being overwhelmed and stressed. Their brain is facing a core belief threat and is challenged how to continue. The stress neurotransmitter cortisol increases to acerbate doubts, uncertainty, and anxiety.
As a content trainer, one way to reduce overwhelm and stress is to identify the points in your program where a client has the most problems. Then ask yourself if there is a way to make this information less threatening. Here are some suggested questions to ask yourself about your program.
- Does it need to be presented in different learning styles?
- Can it be broken down into smaller parts that are easier and less stressful to move through?
- Are you giving it your all and presenting too much information at one time?
Sometimes people do better with the KISS method than getting value from everything we know and want to share.
Technique #3 Insight
One of the most successful techniques comes from David Rock, author of Your Brain at Work. He suggests the best way is to “…help others come to their own insights.”
If you are already a therapist or a coach, you are familiar with using different kinds of client-directed discovery questions. But, for the rest of us, there’s an easier way to help a client reach their “insight ” moment.
My recommendation is to take a look at the Integrity Report created by the earlier mentioned James Clear at http://jamesclear.com/2016-integrity-report
Clear’s Integrity Report is a self-assessment tool that is based on three questions he asks himself. This is a process he does every year as a way of staying in touch with his core values.
- What are the core values that drive my life and work?
- How am I living and working with integrity right now?
- How can I set a higher standard in the future?
What if you reframed these 3 questions for your clients to use as their own self-assessment progress guide as they work through your training?
For instance:
- Which of my core values and beliefs are supporting or challenging me at this point in my training?
- As I am working through this training, which of my core values and beliefs are adding to my success?
- What am I learning about my core values and beliefs through this training that I didn’t know about myself before?
The reason why “insight” works so well is that when a client arrives at their own insight their brain responds with a rewarding dollop of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. If the brain feels good, then it’s safe to proceed and make a change.
While we would like to wave a magic wand to make a client successful, we have a better chance of getting our client back on the success track by nudging their brain in the right direction. And, that’s really the best we can do.
Please continue to comment. Your previous comments have been very helpful, and who knows where I will take this next.
Resources:
http://jamesclear.com/core-values
http://jamesclear.com/2016-integrity-report
http://dawnbarclay.com/corevalueswhatarethey/
https://www.thebalance.com/core-values-are-what-you-believe-1918079 (Heathfield)
Image: Pixabay 1123017 CCO public domain
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I like this Joyce. One of the questions I ask clients is “Why are you in business in the first place? They always answer to make money but of course, and to have fun. It really is about being in alignment with your life, your business etc. I want to understand their core values, the purpose of their business, their work, etc.
It’s wonderful Rachel that you ask the questions that you do. Clients seldom think thing through and helping to get into alignment can make a big different. Thanks for sharing.
I am a huge fan of James Clear. Love how you used his ideas to work with clients. Insights are powerful simply because when your own brain comes up with something it makes it easier to implement than being told what to do. That is what I find with my clients.
Thanks for confirming that clients are better off coming up with their own insights. Love James Clear too.
This is a perfect description of the value of coaching. We go through all these stages — one of the most powerful being connecting with your “why” — as well as overcoming deeply entrenched core values/beliefs that are actually harmful. Such as “I’m not worth this, I don’t deserve it, I’ll never be able to do that” and so on. As always, great information. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Jackie, this is where coaches and therapists have the advantage of working with these core values, especially the negative one. The intent here was to make marketers aware that are ways to overcome some of the obstacles that can stand in the way of a client’s success. Thanks for commenting.
Thanks for the insightful post, Joyce. Even with affirmations and visualization, the gatekeeper can play havoc. I often ask my clients to rephrase the affirmation with the starter ‘I am in the process of’ and continue visualizing with passion and emotion. It often provides the much required confidence breakthrough.
The best technique that I know of and which is the 3rd one you mentioned is to share insights. Sometimes knowing that we alone don’t have a unique problem but it ‘happens to many of us’ helps create that breakthrough and mitigate fear of change and transformation.
Thank you, Vatsala for sharing what works with your clients. I like how “I’m in the process”, gives them a sense of control and “it happens to many of us” removes focus on self. Both are powerful tools for shifting the brain out of its customary way of thinking by reframing and rephrasing it into a different perspective. This would also work in writing marketing copy to include phrasing like this to make change seem less threatening.
Another informative follow-up post, Joyce. Your penultimate paragraph summed it up nicely for me, “While we would like to wave a magic wand to make a client successful, we have a better chance of getting our client back on the success track by nudging their brain in the right direction. ” If only it were possible to insure our client’s success, but we can only do the best. By nudging their brain in the right direction so they achieve success on their terms, it will be more powerful for them and assure them that they can do anything they really want to.
Thank you for the great research on these techniques.
Thanks, Yvonne. For those of us who work with clients, it’s a challenge but also very rewarding when we can help them get closer to their success path.
Very insightful Joyce. I believe our core values are truth tellers and our values may or may not be what we think they are. But when we look at our life: what we give our dominate attention to, what we have around us, what we spend our time doing, who we spend time doing it with, what we talk about…etc. Those things tell us what are true values are – sometimes we are congruent with them in regards to who we want to be and or what we want – and sometimes we find we need to do some tweaking.
Totally agree Teresa about core values being truth tellers. Sometimes our core values stay with us all our life and others change over time due to circumstances and aging. Especially in the political climate that we are currently in, a lot of core values are being challenged and you are seeing different generational core values being expressed. I can’t remember the quote directly, but it’s something like “a good life is one that is examined (re-examined).
Wonderful techniques to utilize with your client to ensure their success, Joyce! Great share!! Really gave me some food for thought 🙂 Thank you!
Glad it gave you a different way to think about this.
A wonderful article reminding us how our core beliefs are tied to our integrity. How getting to know ourselves better can help us move forward. How positive affirmations and motivation can help us overcome negative beliefs that hold us back. Your insightful article had some wonderful reminders we can all use in our day-to-day lives.
Thank you for commenting Julie. We really don’t talk as much as we should about core values and integrity. Hope this article opens the door to having more conversations about this.
Powerful article! Most of us are blissfully unaware of our core beliefs and how they affect our lives right down to the decisions we make each and every day. Thanks so much for sharing your valuable insight and inspiration Joyce.
Yes, being blissfully unaware can be a double edge sword. But, it’s worth it to examine our core beliefs every so often. Thanks for commenting Marquita.
I’m not sure how to apply this to my business but I can apply it to myself. I often think that when I engage with others they get my personality, my integrity, who I am for others. This must convey my core values. Will it encourage someone becoming my customer- perhaps if in the market for jewelry.
Interesting info to absorb.
Well, Roz.You might want to explore the core values when it comes to wearing jewelry. What is it that makes women want to wear jewelry? Does it enhance their power, their individuality, their perception of their beauty? What are the core values men have when they want to buy jewelry for women? (besides guilt).
I love your analogy of the template running in the background, challenging every new idea or change. This makes so much sense in the way I operate. When something that is clearly OUT of my comfort zone is presented to me, I have to take the time to adjust my thinking to the new paradigm. As an example; recently I purchased a new camera for jewelry photography. I had been resisting this large purchase for some time. A friend suggested I just get the Macro lens for my current camera. The lens was about $500. This idea offered the necessary bridge to the larger purchase. I could imagine the $500 purchase more easily. When I went to make the purchase I ended up with a terrific sales person who got me the rest of the way over that ‘bridge’ and ultimately to the necessary $1300 purchase. And I am SO happy with the decision and result.
What an interesting first-hand example Alene. The core values and beliefs certainly come to the forefront when it comes to making decisions. Having a sales person asking the right questions and addressing your concerns got your brain to the insight this was a good choice. Happy everything worked out for you.
Thanks for the insightful post, as always, Joyce! While reading it I couldn’t help but think of some of my experience doing therapeutic art work and my training with it, as often the underlying ‘issue’ is not conscious or accessible from the ‘thinking’ realm. If you ask someone the three sample questions you suggest, the truth behind it might not be that identifiable and it can be frustrating, as they ‘think’ they must have the answer. There are many techniques to uncover what really lies beneath our resistances. I also believe that having the person come to their own insights, is ultimately the ideal way for them to have their ‘aha’ moment and then to be willing to move forward from there.
Doing art therapy is a wonderful way to discover the inner issues. When I did hypnosis, I would have clients draw their issues while they were hypnotized. It was so interesting to watch their reactions when they came out of trance and looked at how they had interpreted their issues. Helping someone to arrive at insight I feel is the most productive and you can use many different ways to get there.
Thanks so much for this walk down ‘resistance lane.’ I love your constructive suggestions for changing up the way we present information so that it is less threatening (that is a word I would never have chosen – yet it’s so true!). Your “Sometimes people do better with the KISS method than getting value from everything we know and want to share” really resonated with my courses a la carte idea.
Reba, that’s a smart idea to offer a la carte selection. Anything we can creatively do to help clients overcome their fears and resistances means that we have more people being successful. And, that a good thing.
It’s helpful to know what their expectations are and then… be sure we have explained our process, what is going to happen and then go with it. Too often we want it more than them and that just can’t happen.
You’re right on Kristen. We do the best we can but some people can’t get past their sabotaging beliefs.
These are great tips for helping people who have become stuck, Joyce. The third one is especially helpful as people are likely to be less stubborn about change when they come to their own insights. I like how you pointed out “It’s not our job to make our clients successful but rather to give them the tools and knowledge they can use to create success”.
Glad you found it helpful Tami.
Great information. I doing affirmations every year and am trying to convince my kids to do them too. No luck yet. Maybe when they get older.
Kids can be a tough audience to get them to do affirmations. But maybe you could engage their brain just long enough by posting a daily quote or thought for the day. In the meantime, do what works for you and maybe one day they’ll figure out how smart their mom is.
That tidbit about how the brain reacts to arriving at their own idea with a burst of dopamine is gold! It makes total sense. Leading people to the decision you want them to make and think it’s their own idea works so well.
It always amazes me when people suddenly have this bright idea, and you’re groaning inside because you’ve been suggesting it for a long time. But, when they have the idea it’s brilliant and they want to act on it right away (especially husbands). Sometimes it takes some people longer for the brain to connect. You just have to be patient.
What a great post. How can I set a higher standard is such a wonderful question to ask ourselves, especially about your business. Oddly right now, I am trying to set higher standards for myself in regards to housework. It may sound funny but the two are so closely related. If I have a super clean house, I feel like I can get more work done.
Renee, that’s interesting that you caught the higher standards part. Setting higher standards for ourselves can be intimidating. But, if you can find that one thing that motivates you to be better and achieve it, it means you have the skill to set other higher standards for yourself. Housework may not seem like a big deal, but you focused in on a key point – being free to get other things done. When watching TV, I use the commercial approach or when I’ve been in front of the computer for too long, I go a do a housework chore. It’s surprising how much you can get done. I feel that I’ve made progress in the house without being overwhelmed while I get a break from the TV or the computer screen for a little while.
As always, fascinating, Joyce! My writers are often completely overwhelmed when they get back the edits and critiques of their books. A LOT goes into writing a good book. But I do a lot of this. Not only do I present what’s not working, explaining why, but I also show them where they did really well, which motivates them. And, I break down the tasks into manageable steps.
One of the core values at play is that for me to take a writer on, I must believe she has talent, and believe in what she’s doing. That is so comforting to writers while learning this process.
My process works, and you just explained to me why! Thank You!