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I know it’s hard to believe that anyone could have a fear of success. After all, isn’t success what our parents wanted for us, didn’t we go to school to become successful, and aren’t we working our tails off now to finally achieve it?
Fear of being successful is closely aligned with a fear of failure. Click To Tweet
For some, the fear of failure can be a motivating drive for success. While others are driven by beliefs and expectations that failure is likely so why try to succeed.
But, somewhere in the middle are those of us who are out there as entrepreneurs who believe in our ideas, are passionate, consistent, and committed. We’re willing to give it all we got including working more hours than we did at a day job. We’ve aligned our goals, blueprint plans, and execution strategies. We know we’re not there yet, but it’s what we anticipate our future to be.
However, there’s one thing we didn’t count on. Success is what we want, but it comes with fears that can derail us.
What Gives Rise to the Fear of Success?
Some of the common explanations for fear of success are compiled from the resource authors listed below. However, it’s generally agreed that everyone’s view of success varies, as wells as, the amount of influence a particular fear of success may have.
Success is scary —
Fear of Change. Yes, that’s the big one, so let’s get it out of the way first.
We build our whole life around predictability, security, certainty. We need a pattern we can depend on to guide through our day and helps us with the different people we interface with. We would like that same consistency to be there when we become successful. The fear is that we and all these things will change.
We’ll not be the same person; success will change us into someone else. We’ll have to change the way we do things, there’ll be less personal time and more responsibilities. We’ll have to learn to deal with new situations and total strangers wanting our attention. We’ll have to be more vigilant and detailed oriented to make sure everything goes right. And, so much more we believe that will be asked of us.
Fear of putting our name and face out there in public. Yes, we want the recognition but it can come with unsolicited personal attacks, criticism, and scrutiny. Anyone, spending time on social media knows how demeaning comments can be. For some, staying under the radar can be a reason enough not to succeed.
Fear that the status of our relationships will change. We’re no longer one of the not-so-successful gang. How will we relate to friends and colleagues who become jealous, intimidated or see a loss of shared interests? Or, will we be the one with the guilt that we made it and they haven’t?
Fear of being discovered as an impostor. We’re not a researcher, a person with credentials, nor a noted authority. Won’t someone discover our work is not that meaningful, relevant, or credible?
Fear we’ll get the success we want but won’t be able to handle it and meet expectations. We’re uncertain that we will be able to deliver what we’ve promised, meet demands, or sustain our efforts. And, the greatest fear – will we be just another on-hit-wonder?
Fear that all our time and efforts will not be rewarded. What if this is only a temporary success? Or, it becomes like other endeavors that turned into failures?
It’s all about how we come to view our success.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. …” (excerpted quote from Marianne Williamson)
You might have other personal success fears. You may know or not know what they are. They may even be old subconscious beliefs that have shaped your attitudes and behaviors when it comes to being successful. What fears or concerns about success have come up for you?
To be continued.
Resources:
http://www.fearof.net/fear-of-success-phobia-achievemephobia/
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/fear-of-success.htm
https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/250583
http://99u.com/articles/14347/are-you-subconsciously-afraid-of-success
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/what-you-have-fear-success.html
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/fear-of-success-symptoms
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcome-fear-of-success-6-ways-to-start-thriving/
http://liveboldandbloom.com/02/overcoming-fear/fear-of-success
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Thanks for sharing awesome article. I never see this type of brief information regarding this one. Especially. I hope you will share very informative and useful inforamation to us. Keep it up
Your welcome.
This so often comes down to an imposter syndrome. No matter what the next level is, we think that we aren’t ready. We are so afraid of looking foolish, or is that just me?
Renee, I think it more about society inferring that information is only valid when it comes from some academic or authoritative source. With the advent of the Internet, everyone has the opportunity to share their knowledge and experiences. Yet, it’s still easy to be intimidated by thinking you’re not good enough or ready for the next level. Time to move on. There is always someone who can benefit from what you know right now.
I think we don’t often recognize it for what it is. It’s easier to say were afraid of a learning curve, for example, than to say we are afraid of success. Would you say that it’s easier to get past it once you recognize what’s really going on?
Good question Jennifer. Folks can devise all kinds of explanations as to why they are not successful. Everyone handles learning the real reason why differently. Some will gain insight and are then free to make changes. Others can discover their reason but are stuck with beliefs, especially limiting beliefs, which keep them from being motivated to change.
Sounds silly, right? To be afraid of what we work so hard for. It’s like a constant push and pull within ourselves. Someone said recently to me that the fear of success is also the fear of responsibility, which you touch on here. I think it’s great to list out all of the fears that we have so we can tackle them straight on! thanks for such a great post!
Thanks, Mindy. You’re right it is a constant push and pull and responsibilities certainly are a big part of this. I think some folks discover that it’s become more than they bargained for or are willing to rise to the occasion.
Self sabotage is definitely a big contributor to fear of success. It is something that can be combat so the pattern can be changed. Thanks for bringing this up. It can definitely give some light to those who have this problem.
Thanks for commenting about self-sabotage. I’m writing more about it in this week’s post.
It is true.. success IS scary… and stepping out on anything and relying only on ourselves can be just that…. but we need to push forward, always.
I think Kristen that when we admire others who we believe are already successful, we forget there was a time when they weren’t. And, as the old saying goes – if they can do it, we can do it.
Oh yes the fear of success- I know that one well the one that sometimes i forget to observe briefly and I derail myself. I recognise each of the points you have made , thanks great food for thought xxx
Hi Suzie, Looks like you have good radar for recognizing those things that let the fear of success creep in. Just because we know about them, doesn’t mean we’ve banished them completely. It’s great how all of us can support one another on our success paths.
Hi, Joyce
This topic closes to home for me. My daughter hesitates to move forward in her career because she is fear of success. I can see the fear of success is the blockage of one’s success.
There are many reasons for that fear. Moreover, each one has his unique excuse according to his own perception and conclusion. However, I am with Clive that I don’t agree with Marianne. If the light inside is the true light which should remove the darkness (fear) from the person.
I think most people fear of success because fear of change (people seek for consistence) and stand out to be criticized by public.
Have a nice weekend!
Stella Chiu
Thanks Stella for sharing your daughter’s experiences. Fear of change is definitely a big block to succeeding. And, with bullying taking place on so many public levels, it’s easy to see why people settle in at a certain level and go no further. I’m sure that as you build your own success, your daughter will see that success is not to be feared.
Awesome post Joyce! I can understand about having a fear of success, simply because some people just do not know where to start and how to succeed, so they quit before they even get started 🙂 I have seen quite a few online that just give up after a month and say it does work, when it reality they did not realize that it was always UP TO THEM to make it work 🙂 Believing in yourself is key to having success in anything that you do!
You raise a good point, Joan. A lot of people are mistaken that online success is easy and are not willing to commit to learning a whole new business format and strategy. I also think that there are those who thrive successfully in traditional jobs. Either way, if you are going to be successful you need to be your number1 promoter. Thanks for sharing.
You highlighted some very powerful reasons that people fear success. Before reading this blog I would have said it was fear of change, but I now truly think that it is about being discovered as a fraud.
I remember years ago when I began my promotional marketing career. I was so afraid of no knowing enough to help my prospects and clients. My boss at the time told me that no matter how little I thought I knew .. it was MORE than the client knew about this subject.
I think we all undervalue ourselves to some extent.
The impostor syndrome it think is far more prevalent than people want to admit.
Sure, we all can’t start out as experts, but we have to remind ourselves that we have valuable information to share that we’ve acquired. Thanks for sharing your personal experience Alene.
Some great points that I believe we can all relate to. Fear can be so irrational. The fear of changing, for instance. We all change over time, whether we have success or not. So that fear is not logical. Yet our minds cling to this as if to protect us. From what?
Your right Carol – from what? It’s great when it’s there for our true protection and safety. But otherwise, it gets way out-of-hand when it overtakes the rest of our life. In this week’s blog, I’m going to be writing more about its irrationality and the subconscious mind.
Imposter syndrome is insidious because it makes you question the integrity of people who think highly of you. After all, if you’re a fake, then these other people aren’t as smart/good/wise as you previous thought. So it starts to erode all your relationships, too. Ugly stuff.
Well said, Jackie!
True fear of change and fear of not being good enough is often at the center of it all.
These are life lessons that we all have to confront. For some, it’s a struggle for others a challenge. Glad you’re on the challenge side.
I can really relate to several of these ‘fears’ you’ve listed, Joyce. When I was very, very ill and given a 90% chance my health would dramatically improve if I chose surgery (which I was dead set against), I had to examine the idea “Who am I without my illness?” I see this a lot with people who continue to hold on to health issues or weight or any of the comforts we get used to, even when we are in fact diminishing ourselves. That’s why I love the quote from Marianne Williamson that you shared. Some people are afraid of their own brilliance. As a fixed sign, I also relate to being resistant at times to change…unless I initiate the change. I’ve heard many times that fear of success and fear of failure are two side of the same coin. Thanks for shedding light on it for us all!
Beverley, I use to see a lot of this when I was working with pain clients and hypnosis. They wanted pain relief. Just enough to lessen the pain but not enough that they would lose their medical/social benefits. Or, there were other aspects of mental pain, which was more tolerable and comfortable than the choice of taking their pain away. For some the fear of success is greater than the fear of failure. We all and choices. That’s why I admire you and the other women in our group who are so fiercely dedicated to success.
Thought-provoking article. I agree we do fear success – even in my own small business, success means I have to maintain that success which can become burdensome. It is an intriguing concept.
Robin, thanks for sharing your own experience of how you recognize the burdensome aspect of maintaining success. By acknowledging how we feel gives us an opportunity to see what we can do to makes things easier. Hope there’s a way to lighten your burden.
I have always been a bit baffled by the term ‘fear of success” and now know it is the over arching catch all phrase for many of the drilled down reasons you point out. I commend you for being more specific and surely this will help those that need to understand and overcome this limiting fear.
You make a very good point Teresa. We often use catch-all phrases without clarification. The beliefs and attitudes that people carry around with them about success and wealth vary greatly and it’s surprising to find those who eschew both.
I’m working on a few projects just now and have noticed how giving them attention seems to keep being put on the backburner. It took me a while to realize I was doing this out of fear and I think that has most to do with thinking I can’t meet expectations should they be successful – more of a time issue than anything. Now that I’ve recognised the issue I am getting back on track, trusting it will all work out.
Glad to hear that you’re back on track and out of the fear mode.
Joyce,
A wonderful article that truly touched on every point that is possible why you could be afraid of success. It was well written and reminded me of the days in Grad School and making a name was about your thesis, I truly can understand and relate to this article and went through a lot of up’s and down’s in the process. I am thankful for groups like ours and women that have helped me so I pay it forward.
Lori English
I can so relate Lori. School places a lot of pressure to succeed, but no one really teaches you what success means. You only can compare yourself to others who you think or have been told are successful. Their success is their own. While they are held out as role models, each of us has to not be afraid to find our own success.
It is so important to look within and clear all the ways our beliefs may be holding us back from the results we wish to achieve.
Ah..Reba. That’s next week’s topic. Stay tuned.
You know, the funny thing is that you don’t realize these fears until you truly find success. And then, they rear their ugly heads! I’ve experienced all of these, at one time or another. But as with any fear, once you look it in the eye, it fades to black.
Nice post, Joyce!
Thanks, Susan. Imagination has a great way of magnifying fears. The ideal is to use imagination to magnify success!
I will admit, i have never had fear of success, i embrace every challenge and look at the end goal. But i do know some who doubt themselves and don’t feel worthy of the success.
Stick at it ladies and yes, you DO deserve the success.
Sounds like you have a healthy approach to success, Sonya. It’s true, there are a lot of folks that get caught up in their own doubt and sense of worthiness. The best we can do is to continue to encourage them.
Great post. I’m not sure I’d quite go along with Marianne Willson (nice thought though), but you’re right that we have so many fears – even success – that often bring us to a grinding halt. What seems to underline everything is how much control we have. We wouldn’t fear so much success, failure, change or anything else if we had a greater level of control in how they occur. I think that’s what we need to focus on. Which elements we can control and which elements we need to learn to accept.
Agree, Clive, control is an underlying issue. Either you try to control everything or you give up control to someone else. There does need to be a point of taking responsibility and be accountable for your own success. AT the same time being flexible and adaptable for the times when is not happening the way you thought it would.