We all have in our minds certain qualities and physical attributes we admire about a leader. If you are pursuing a leadership role or finding yourself becoming an unexpected leader, there’s a myriad of leadership training to guide you.
However, I must warn you there’s nothing to prepare you for the “leadership blush” that heat intensifying, full-face, blood rushing blush coming out of nowhere.
Blushing
Mechanically, blushing is simply a spontaneous opening of the blood vessels allowing more blood to reach the skin surface of the face and neck. This causes an overall reddening of the area which may last for several seconds.
Psychologically, the blushing response is based on an emotional trigger. The triggers are most likely to be situations of embarrassment or some form of social anxiety.
Blushing Circumstances
Some of the unexpected circumstances that set off these emotional triggers for anyone, but especially for leaders are
- Being caught off guard, unprepared or in circumstances not knowing how to respond
- Sensitivity to criticism or afraid of what others think about you
- Not comfortable when being singled out for recognition or praise
- Being asked person questions
- Creating a faux pas over not knowing the rules, the way things are done, or what is expected
What’s to be learned from blushing
Blushing is a built-in human response and some blush more or less than others.
Blushing is an indication that human emotions are part of an interdependent networking system of a mind-body unit.
Research shows that emotions are peptide hormones acting as messengers and sharing information between the brain/mind and the body.
It’s these emotion messengers produced in both the brain and the body that trigger the psycho-physiological blushing response.
Avoiding the “leadership blush”
Part of being a leader is being prepared and knowing that you can’t control everything. Problems, miscommunication, and mistakes will happen and that they need to be resolved as quickly as possible. But, nobody wants to be caught in a blush.
While that’s true, there’s nothing to stop it once your emotion messengers have been set in motion. However, here’s what you can do to minimize blushing
- Make sure you’re prepared as you possibly can be.
- Have some deflecting statements ready at hand. Watch any political talk show and notice how politicians defer from answering certain questions.
- Rehearse your responses to any potential criticisms.
- If you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, find something humorous to say if appropriate.
- Created a faux pas? Acknowledge your lack of knowledge and apologize.
- If uncomfortable with recognition and praise, smile, say thank you, and keep smiling.
Being a leader is tough and blushing in embarrassing circumstances is an honest response to who you are. What blushing moments to you remember?
Watch how these two presidential leaders handled it.
Good advice, to improvise and to play it by ear is always good. Also, to not take everything so seriously but to lighten up a bit to me is always better.
Oh yes, Katarina. Let’s all lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously.
Blushing is natural to human being. The older one gets to age, the less likely he would mind the uneasiness of the situation. We all know we would not die for these reasons we have associated our blushing. The best practice is to probably acknowledge and smile.
Right you are, Lorri. No one is going to die but I think many of us wish we could at the time.
I feel that blushing humbles us a little, lets us show we are vulnerable, real and even gives us character and we shouldn’t feel bad about doing or allow others to make us feel that way. However, there are situations that happen that we need to be prepared to handle. Obama is a great example on how to do that.
You’re absolutely right, Teresa. Blushing is a wonderful human quality and it does humble us and show our vulnerabilities. And, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s also a great reminder when we should be prepared for something and we’re not. But, when things are beyond our control, I think we got to learn to roll with it and just be human.
Love the Obama video. I miss him – but I digress… I’ve seen him blush and he is a great example of grace and humility. I’ve definitely blushed over the years for various reasons. I didn’t necessarily think it was a good thing but learned that it happens to the best of us. Thanks for reminding us that blushing is a natural thing our body does.
We have been accustomed to thinking that we have to control everything and make a good appearance. Well, blushing seems to knock the pins out from underneath that from time to time. Just a reminder, we’re still human and not a robot yet.
I love learning about the reasons behind a blush. So fascinating. Being able to laugh or make fun of our own mistakes does minimize the response for sure. The other thing that helped me early on in my career..when someone asked me a question I felt I SHOULD know the answer to (but didn’t). Was to admit it and say..”but I will find out for you”
Good response, Alene. We don’t have to know everything, and there’s always something new to learn.
I love the way Mr Obama handled the situation, Joyce, calm and with a sense of humor. Come to think of it, I do avoid blushing moments and if by chance there is one, humor is the best way to ease out of an uneasy situation.
We’re fortunate that we have leaders from time to time who are exceptional role models. Wish we had more of them.
Joyce, great tips.
As one who’s been blushing a ton lately (willing victim of biology and chemistry that I am, willing participant in a new hot love affair), I’ve just decided to roll with it. I feel the heat in my face, I fan my face, I laugh at myself, and I just don’t get too bent out of shape about it all.
Which is affecting how I roll with gaffes and goofs in business. I’m forward facing more, speaking in public more, and — I confess — I don’t plan responses to my goofs and gaffes. I just shrug, and smile, and find that the people I’m teaching/mentoring/facilitating in the moment stay right with me.
And once again I find that my transparency and humanness is a just-right fit for just about any moment.
When people try to control their image all the time, it eventually seems unauthentic. I think an audience finds people who are comfortable with themselves, in whatever conditions occur, to be more relatable. Sounds like you’re right at home.
Love the Obama video and how he was able to get everyone to laugh. Off the top of my head I can’t think of a situation- but you have me thinking. I seem to take things these days in my stride, xx
May we all get to that level of taking things in our stride.
It’s a good thing we all look good with a blush. I’ve been there and done that. I’d say I’m way past it, but it’s pretty involuntary and just might surprise me again. I still blush when I talk to priests. Isn’t that funny…no one else. I’m not scared of them – I don’t think.
True, we never know what’s going to turn a blush on. In the case of priests, there could be something about the garb and not the specific person. At least you know a blush is likely to come on when you meet one.
Love the Obama video too and I do think I have seen him blush! He is a master at staying calm and having a sense of humour about himself and the world around him.
I honestly only remember myself blushing when I find myself attracted to someone of the opposite sex and tongue-tied because of it. I don’t think anyone in my family, that I can remember, actually blushes, so I would guess some people are more prone to blushing than others. I imagine that people who know they are prone to blushing must learn to work with it, vs. creating a situation where not only are they embarrassed, but they make others around them feel embarrassed too! Thanks for sharing more about this, Joyce. I hadn’t thought much about it, as it isn’t something I experience…at least not too often.
There may be some genetic component that makes some families more prone to blushing. And, blushing during adolescents is more common for girls. But, we all have those embarrassing moments. I guess it boils down to how uncomfortable we feel at the moment
Reading about the mechanics of blushing is so interesting. Blushing makes me blush. I don’t blush often but when I do I get even more embarrassed and find it really difficult to recover. As you pointed out, smiling is always a good way to go.
Isn’t it fascinating Tami, how a blush just overcomes us at the least expected time. But, we are in good company, since just about everyone blushes at one time or another.
Love the short Obama video. He has such grace. We could learn a lot from watching him and how he commands a room. I had an event a couple weeks ago with Chet Caskey. He talked history of spiritualism and I provided a few psychic readings with the audience. After I had provided a few readings a man raised his hand and said “Do me!” meaning he was ready for me to read him. He caught me off guard. I was a couple feet in front of him and blushed, laughed and pivoted to look at someone I knew in the audience on the other side of the room and quickly regained my composure. Not knowing the audience that well, I think I recovered well. On our toes!
Ah… it happens to the best of us. Now, you’ll be less likely to blush when it happens to you the next time.